No regrets
I once read something like "I'd rather have remorse than regrets". This motto is a bit confusing because remorse and regret are often used interchangeably. According to the definition of the two words, "remorse" is a feeling of deep regret for past misdeeds, whereas "regret" is, among other things, a feeling of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different. That is how i understood the saying. Feeling remorse means we have done something, and we are distressed about it. Feeling regrets implies we have NOT done something, but wish we had.
I want this lifestyle. I am tired of the compromises i keep making to keep a semblance of 50/50 relationship. I know that D/s is very tough and demanding. The little voice inside of me keeps warning me that, perhaps, i should beware of what i wish for. Yet, i can't imagine growing old without at least trying. Claire is still reluctant to step up, but She already told me that i was playing with fire. That motivates me even more. I seem to have no considerations for the risks this journey entails. Perhaps it is because i know that the risks of not doing it are even greater. I know Claire very well, yet i can't predict what kind of Domina She would become. In fact, i try not to. What i mostly want is for Her to be Her, with the same intensity and depth of emotions that She displayed early in O/our relationship. If there is anything that i have learned so far in this journey, it is how much i rely on the memory of O/our first couple of years together to keep the flame alive. I think that i could adapt to any style of F/m relationship She wants to build, as long as i feel that She is expressing Her genuine desires and aspirations, and does not hold anything back. If it fails, then i will always be able to say "I'd rather have remorse than regrets".
I want this lifestyle. I am tired of the compromises i keep making to keep a semblance of 50/50 relationship. I know that D/s is very tough and demanding. The little voice inside of me keeps warning me that, perhaps, i should beware of what i wish for. Yet, i can't imagine growing old without at least trying. Claire is still reluctant to step up, but She already told me that i was playing with fire. That motivates me even more. I seem to have no considerations for the risks this journey entails. Perhaps it is because i know that the risks of not doing it are even greater. I know Claire very well, yet i can't predict what kind of Domina She would become. In fact, i try not to. What i mostly want is for Her to be Her, with the same intensity and depth of emotions that She displayed early in O/our relationship. If there is anything that i have learned so far in this journey, it is how much i rely on the memory of O/our first couple of years together to keep the flame alive. I think that i could adapt to any style of F/m relationship She wants to build, as long as i feel that She is expressing Her genuine desires and aspirations, and does not hold anything back. If it fails, then i will always be able to say "I'd rather have remorse than regrets".
posted by spellbound at 7:55 PM
7 Comments:
spellbound-
I completely agree. I would not want to get to the end of my life and realize I had wasted it because I was afraid. It would be horrible to reach that point and look back and have only a long list of regrets for having allowed fear, or stupidity, to keep me from embracing myself and my life fully. It's great to see that you have no plans to be one of those people either. Good luck on your journey.
Lady H.
Lady H., Thanks! I am still young, but i no longer have the luxury to think that my life will go on forever. I do not want my spirit to die before my body does.
spellbound-
I'm not that old myself. I'm almost 32, but I'm just getting over an illness that had me near death several times and as trite as it sounds, that changes one's perspective in some pretty profound ways. That old cliche that life is too short is frighteningly real and I, for one, intend to get everything I possibly can out of it. LOL
Lady H.
I know what you mean about being careful what you wish for. And Claire's comment about playing with fire should certainly make you think. Exciting thoush, sin't it. I think this is so because it is part of being submissive and part of the allure of living a FemDom marriage... the uncertainty because SHE is in control. This is where the trust factor comes in. Goddess V says this what floats her boat the most: that I trust (and love) her enough to give her control and to accept her authority.
You've mentioned more than once that your wife is hesitant to step up and take control. Has she indicated why she is hesitant?
Dear VeezKnight -- That whole "playing without a safety net" feeling is very exciting. I am not there, but already facing the prospect. I also keep reading that once you begin that journey, there is no turning back. Also something that makes me pause... for a second.
Dear Lady Julia -- Yes, She has indicated several reasons for Her reluctance. The main one is that She needs time to solve personal issues. She is getting help from a therapist, and i believe She thinks it would interfere, or that it would be too overwhelming. I have a more holistic view of the situation, where everything is connected: the reasons why W/we are together, O/our emotional and sexual problems, Her therapy, my submissive awakening, etc. My choice would not be to pick one problem and try to solve it before moving on to the next, but She sees it differently. I try not to be pushy, and make demands. Instead, i try to demonstrate my sincerity, by pouring as much goodwill as i can into the relationship. By doing that, i am hoping to awaken the Goddess in Her. It’s a great project, and i have a lot of faith in it. But i tell You, Claire is a tough nut to crack.
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