Setback
Last week, my dream of turning my marriage around took a serious blow. Hopefully, it won't be a mortal one. My wife let me know that She was not in a position to work on "our issues" while She was, at the same time, working on "Her issues". She told me that She needed time, without pressure, to first try to solve Her personal problems on Her own. She said that once she gets there, then we can start contemplating changes in the relationship. I tried to make the case that perhaps some of these changes could help in Her pursuit, but She was adamant that She needed to do it on Her own.
This was of course not what i wanted to hear. Since uncovering my true nature, that of a submissive man wanting nothing more than to serve the woman he loves and admires, i have been in a state of constant elation, not to mention horniness. I have not felt so infatuated since the early days of our relationship. I don't want to give that up. However, i believed Her when She said that She was overwhelmed right now, and that this was too much, too quickly. We need to pace ourselves, and build our future step by step. Right now, that means concentrating on Her personal efforts. I certainly want to see Her better in control of Her sexuality. A key to making F/m work is, i believe, the harnessing of the male's sexual drive by the female. Though the outlet for that energy must not necessarily be sexual, it surely helps if She can sometimes offer one, and enjoy it!
In truth, sexual servitude is essential for me. As much as i like to think of myself as Her slave, the fact is that i am not. I don't mind (and in fact relish the prospect of) being tested and challenged. I do want to be pushed to my limits. I am submissive at my core, and want to feel owned and used, but in the end, there is a personal aspect to this journey too. Through my submission, i want to find myself. And i need Her for that, comfortable in Her dominant role, and confidently in charge. My wife is not there yet, and i should help Her get there first.
This was of course not what i wanted to hear. Since uncovering my true nature, that of a submissive man wanting nothing more than to serve the woman he loves and admires, i have been in a state of constant elation, not to mention horniness. I have not felt so infatuated since the early days of our relationship. I don't want to give that up. However, i believed Her when She said that She was overwhelmed right now, and that this was too much, too quickly. We need to pace ourselves, and build our future step by step. Right now, that means concentrating on Her personal efforts. I certainly want to see Her better in control of Her sexuality. A key to making F/m work is, i believe, the harnessing of the male's sexual drive by the female. Though the outlet for that energy must not necessarily be sexual, it surely helps if She can sometimes offer one, and enjoy it!
In truth, sexual servitude is essential for me. As much as i like to think of myself as Her slave, the fact is that i am not. I don't mind (and in fact relish the prospect of) being tested and challenged. I do want to be pushed to my limits. I am submissive at my core, and want to feel owned and used, but in the end, there is a personal aspect to this journey too. Through my submission, i want to find myself. And i need Her for that, comfortable in Her dominant role, and confidently in charge. My wife is not there yet, and i should help Her get there first.
posted by spellbound at 8:37 PM
7 Comments:
thanks for the link to my blog. I found yours when skimming thru the javascript referring sites on my sitemeter.
hope some of my posts have helped you. all the best in your pursuit.
-saratoga
Just be careful you don't make this about you, even though the FemDom lifestyle you want will benefit the both of you. Most likely, right now, she sees it as being more about you rather than about the two of you.
Excellent advice, VeezKnight. I had the same thought. That's a trap that a lot of those new to the lifestyle fall into.
Good luck, Spellbound.
Thank you for the advice and encouragements. I honestly believe that my motivation is sincere, but I have to remain aware of the possibility that I don't always faithfully hold up my end of the bargain. It's tricky because I am the one championing the cause and initiating the changes. But I am convinced it's possible. Stealth submission did not work for me. Seemed too manipulative. In fact, I was afraid it would backfire at some point. I prefer the open manner. I hope that with patience and humility, it will pay off. Every experience is unique, and our case, there are other obstacles, not related to D/s, that make things more complicated. They have to be sorted out first. Being pushy is always disastrous, but in our case even more so.
As a woman just dipping her big toe into this lifestyle, I understand your wife's comments. I asked my husband Tom what he would have done in a similar circumstance. His response was that he would act as he is acting now, with deference to my authority and focused on my pleasure and happiness, even if I did not offer the sexual response he desired. This was a confirmation on Tom's true desire to serve. I think if you treat your wife as the authority in your marriage, she will eventually see to your needs as well.
my name is dsaniels wells from united kingdom i had a problem with my wife sometimes ago but never knew what the problem was,i tried to asked her but she refused to tell,me what it was as time goes on i discovered she was having an affair with a friend of mine that happens to be my mest friend,i was so sad that i never knew what to do next,duringb my search for a way out i met a friend of mine who had similar problem and introduced me to a man who helped him with his situation,on getting to the man i discoversd he was a spell caster i was shocked because i have not had anything to mdo with a spell caster in my entire life so i tried to give this man a chance cos i never believed in spell casting as i thought it will not work for me but to my surprise i got positive results and i was able to get my wife back from him even after the spell caster did all i discovered my wife fell much more in love with me on like before so i was so happy that i never know what to do for him so i am using this opportunity to tell anyone on this blog having smilar problem visit claudedaniels50@yahoo.com then i will let you know how to get to him.Thanks and God bless you....
my name is dsaniels wells from united kingdom i had a problem with my wife
sometimes ago but never knew what the problem was,i tried to asked her but
she refused to tell,me what it was as time goes on i discovered she was
having an affair with a friend of mine that happens to be my mest friend,i
was so sad that i never knew what to do next,duringb my search for a way out
i met a friend of mine who had similar problem and introduced me to a man
who helped him with his situation,on getting to the man i discoversd he was
a spell caster i was shocked because i have not had anything to mdo with a
spell caster in my entire life so i tried to give this man a chance cos i
never believed in spell casting as i thought it will not work for me but to
my surprise i got positive results and i was able to get my wife back from
him even after the spell caster did all i discovered my wife fell much more
in love with me on like before so i was so happy that i never know what to
do for him so i am using this opportunity to tell anyone on this blog having
smilar problem visit jagudajad41@gmail.com then i will let you know how
to get to him.Thanks and God bless you....
Post a Comment
<< Home